And Now For Something Completely Different
by Captain Bardiel
Summary: My first fanfic, Enjoy...


Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, Gainax does.

_**And Now For Something Completely Different**_

(A collection of Poetry, Quotes & One-liners)

By Captain Bardiel

Summery: This is a collection of poetry, quotes & one-liners in the Eva Universe and the real world,so I got the best bits and put them into a Fan Fiction. Also I added some of my bits and pieces in there too.

_**Warning: This Fan Fic may contain some Coarse Language, readers' discretion is recommended **_

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_"A song is good."_ – Kaworu 'Tabris' Nagisa

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_**Asuka's Lamentation on the 'Over the Rainbow'**_

_You are super-cool  
what awesome stubble you have  
but you won't kiss me..._

_**Kaji Ryouji's Lament**_

_  
Your purple tresses  
Hang limply over the edge  
are you regretful?_

_**Asuka's First Impression of Shinji**_

_  
Who is this child?  
Walking, no pride in his step  
is he different?_

_**Kyoko's Delusions in Regard to Asuka**_

_  
My innocent girl  
should never grow up  
Children need no tears_

But she must be strong  
Weakness is tempered  
only through living

_**Shinji's Thoughts on Misato**_

_  
I love Misato  
I clean up her apartment  
my true family._

_**Shinji's Thoughts on Rei Ayanami**_

_  
She is so quiet  
never speaking of sadness  
she is just like me_

_**The Ravings of Rei Ayanami**_

_  
The white moon is lonely  
the black moon hides in safety  
Why am I to choose?_

_**Asuka's Praise of Unit-02**_

_Backflip! Dodge! Feint! Follow with strikes and kicks!  
Exhibiting a luminous and terrifying presence  
it is quite beautiful, striking, and bold!  
_

_  
And so, limited only by physics,  
(and even those cannot always restrain its magnificence)  
my Unit-02 is a sight to behold!_

_**Kensuke Aida's Praise of the 'Over the Rainbow' aka USS Harry S. Truman**_

_  
Beautiful?  
Of course!  
Beauty is not defined by outline  
(this works out well for me)  
the pistons pump! The engines whine!  
And it floats upon the __**sea**__!  
Look at all the cannons!  
And those predatory birds  
with their ravenous __**machine guns**__  
I just don't have the words…_

_I think I'm gonna cry...  
*Sniff*_

__

_**Shinji's Sonnet to Rei Ayanami  
**_

_  
__I don't understand anything  
and your eyes will betray nothing  
the most misunderstood by far  
you are a real person,  
you are.  
_

_**Chairman Kiel Lorenz's Words on the Lance of Longinus and the Sacrament**_

_An instrument of humanity  
Bringing an end to all suffering  
Human Instrumentality  
With only one left lingering  
With this brilliant sacrament  
And a human's pain, unending  
I hear Ikari's lament,  
Over the great rending!_

_**Shinji's Sonnet to Asuka**_

_  
Who is this?  
_She knows me well_  
Lips to kiss  
_She breaks my shell  
_Eyes like steel  
_and she has seen hell  
_Breasts to feel  
_How far she fell  
_is she an angel?_

__

_**Gendo's Last Thoughts on His Son**_

_  
My son is the same as myself  
Enshrouded in his pathos  
He rejects the world  
_

_  
In this lonesome room  
my wife stands nearby  
and I drown in my regret_

_**Rei Ayanami's Sonnet to Shinji after the Defeat of Ramiel**_

_  
Shinji Ikari,  
You care for me?  
What is it that you understand?  
(I saw you digging in the sand)  
Why is it that you care for me?  
(Human experience is the key)  
And this is completely new  
I just don't know what to do...  
Why are you crying?  
I understand. I smile._

_**Asuka's Praise of Shinji's Defeat of Shamshiel**_

_You're a bundle of fear and hate  
each word we speak corrupts your mind  
in battles all of this will condensate  
So that you can retaliate in kind.  
_

_  
Then, the moment when least expected,  
the option of "retreat" elected,  
a roaring fury breaks the lull  
Target silent, fallen angel._

_**The Very Deep Drunken Depressed Ramblings of Misato Katsuragi **_

_  
I am really drunk right now _  
_(The obligatory leer)  
that guy over there is so like, wow  
I think I'll drink another beer  
_

_  
I'm really a whore  
I'll sleep with anybody  
and what's more  
I'm a friggin' hardcore hottie!  
_

_  
Can I have some service here?  
I really need another beer  
How ya like my dress?  
How about my breasts?  
I like guys with real big lips  
And... I kinda... like to eat chips. Fuck.  
_

_  
Everyone knows that sex sells...  
Is there really nothing else...?  
Service! Service!_

_**Rei Ayanami's Opinion of Asuka Langley Soryu**_

_  
The opposite of me  
She possesses a soul,  
She, with a sense of 'we',  
has a spirit that is whole.  
_

_  
Obsessed with the result  
and not the process  
she has what I lack;  
I can do what she mustn't  
_

_****_

_**Asuka's Ravings after the Defeat of Cervihel**_

_  
A courageous boy, a pathetic toy, a stupid boy  
Who is so full of JOY.  
He makes me sick and he's a total dick  
He doesn't even care anymore.  
_

_****_

_**Shinji's Description of Asuka's Battle with Shamshiel and Ramiel**_

_  
Such a simple thing as jumping rope  
(She has good energy, though)  
She transforms herself into 'Man's Hope'  
(She's attractive too, believe me I know)  
Tearing off the fell beast's limbs  
But that is just a joke  
her momentary madness dims  
her sleeping sense awoke  
_

_  
But she is easily distracted,  
without a thought she gives another phantom a chase...  
And breaks her face  
*sigh*_

_**Touji Suzuhara's... 'Poem'**_

_  
I like poetry  
but I really hate haiku  
Fuck this shit.  
_

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_"Ok, so maybe Hermann Göring was a drug-crazed transvestite, but at least we could have gone dancing"_ – Touji Suzuhara

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**Wouldn't this be typical Asuka...?**

_I used to love her_

_But I had to kill her_

_I used to love her, Mm, yeah_

_But I had to kill her_

_She bitched so much, she drove me nuts_

_And now I'm happier this way, yeah_

_Whoa, oh yeah_

_I used to love her_

_But I had to kill her_

_I used to love her, Mm, yeah_

_But I had to kill her_

_I had to put her, Oo, six feet under_

_And I can still hear her complain_

(Lyrics from a song from _Guns 'n' Roses_)

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Touji: Looks like the Newlyweds are fighting who's going to be on top in bed tonight.

Class: *Laughing*

Asuka & Shinji: HOW, DO YOU KNOW!?

Class: *Laughing stops*

(From Jimmy Wolk's "The Ikaris")

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_On the floor of the midbrain is the ventral tegmental system, that neurobiologists call region A10. Cells soaked in dopamine, certain emotions are processed here;_

**Such as the thoughts of two lovers – **

**Or of a parent and child**

_And it is the synchronization of the__threads__and bundles of A10 that splice pilot and EVA together; to become one entity, to fight._

_In other words,_

_Love drives this Weapon of Mass Destruction forward._

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"_I am not your puppet, for you to control"_ - Pilot Rei Ayanami

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_And what rough beast, _

_Its hour comes around at last. _

_Slouches towards Nagoya-2 to be born, _

_Here it comes, the supreme folly. _

_This is the hour._

When I saw him, I fell down at his feet like a dead man. He placed his right hand on me and said, "Don't be afraid! I am the first and last." – _Revelation 1:17_

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In Nagoya-2, the wind doesn't blow: it sucks… - tagline from _'A New Awakening'_

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_My Mother..._

_Her eyes shine with a mothers glow,_

_Illuminating all that she seeks to know_

_Her smile warms the coldest heart, _

_Discouraging all battles from coming to start_

_Her voice sings to you, putting doubt and fear to rest,_

_While her words put forth her intentions as best_

_Her warm embrace soothes even the deepest pain,_

_While her gentle arms remove hate's painful stain_

_Her wrath is one she wishes no one to see, _

_But harm her children and you will cease to be_

_Her true strength comes from the love in her heart,_

_From her family devotion she will never part_

_Her children draw strength from her comforting presence,_

_It is what you can feel before the end of this sentence_

_Her brother draws sword to defend her in moments,_

_Her husband draws gun to enforce this..._

**Khattam Shud, the End...**

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Author's Notes: This is dedicated to _AN Seranov, Alpha Zulu, __Andrew Hildreth,_ _AZ Mk. II,__ Gunman, __Kaze, Nova, __Random1377, RedHorseman, ReisFriend, Rx7, __Snow, __Stormofdragons, __Strike Fiss, and Taro M.D._

For inspiring me to write my first story

(The title, I got it from _'Monty Python's Flying Circus.')_

(The '_Khattam Shud' _bit; I borrowed it from _Strike Fiss)_

Please read and review.

(No Flamers, OK!)

- Captain Bardiel

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_#Yeah, Ikari is comin' _

_#He'll put an end to this war_

_#oh, the Angels decided it was time for him to take an encore_

_#oh, how I yearn to hear Shinji say "I shall return once more." _

Warrant Officer Sonny J. Dean, NERV Cherubim Corps. Nagoya-2


End file.
